https://www.facebook.com/iamallthatis.project
After filming of the project video was complete, we went out for pizza. Jen, a friend of mine and one of the first project participants joined us. Jen shared with Shari and I some of the miracles that have enfolded in her life since her participation in the project. She has given me permission to share her story with you.
I started the project with women that I know. These women have influenced me on my journey, starting the circle, in order to expand out to women that I do not know and show how we are all connected on a deeper level. Jen is one of these influential women in my life and I want to show our connection in our friendship and how the circle of healing expands as we influence each other on our paths.
**To show the connection between Jen and I on our life paths, I will give some back story for each of us.
Several months ago, before Jen participated in the project, she had been planning a trip to Costa Rica. She was planning to live in an eco village there for at least a few months to expand on her path of self discovery. We are all on this path (if we know it consciously or not) to expressing our true gifts, living as the most authentic versions of ourselves. After participating in the project, Jen actually decided to postpone her journey to Costa Rica. Sharing her back story will explain why she chose to do this as well...
For over two years after her marriage separation, Jen delayed going through with any separation or divorce paperwork. She was too afraid that the paperwork would cause too much conflict. Especially when discussing the terms with her former husband, she felt that she would not be able to stand in her power. Jen's son was very young at the time and she was afraid of possibly reducing the time his father spent with him further, by causing any conflict when going through with the paperwork. She did not even ask for child support and just took whatever money her former husband decided he wanted to give (which was not close to what the state would mandate for the correct amount that he should be paying) but Jen was also afraid to legally pursue the correct amount. Going into debt and a lifestyle change for she and her son were the chosen reality, because they seemed to be the safe choice at the time, rather than creating any more conflict. All of this F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) felt very real to her at that point in time.
Several months ago, before Jen participated in the project, she had been planning a trip to Costa Rica. She was planning to live in an eco village there for at least a few months to expand on her path of self discovery. We are all on this path (if we know it consciously or not) to expressing our true gifts, living as the most authentic versions of ourselves. After participating in the project, Jen actually decided to postpone her journey to Costa Rica. Sharing her back story will explain why she chose to do this as well...
For over two years after her marriage separation, Jen delayed going through with any separation or divorce paperwork. She was too afraid that the paperwork would cause too much conflict. Especially when discussing the terms with her former husband, she felt that she would not be able to stand in her power. Jen's son was very young at the time and she was afraid of possibly reducing the time his father spent with him further, by causing any conflict when going through with the paperwork. She did not even ask for child support and just took whatever money her former husband decided he wanted to give (which was not close to what the state would mandate for the correct amount that he should be paying) but Jen was also afraid to legally pursue the correct amount. Going into debt and a lifestyle change for she and her son were the chosen reality, because they seemed to be the safe choice at the time, rather than creating any more conflict. All of this F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) felt very real to her at that point in time.
I completely understand this perceived fear, the lack of control or safety, as I had many of the same fears when I went through my own divorce a few years ago. It's no accident that Jen was brought into my life during this time. We were both deeply delving into our healing "work" and self-expression (and both going through marriage separations).
One year before my own marriage separation, I read Radical Forgiveness. The book practically jumped off the shelf and into my hands. At the time, I did not think I was looking for any answers, just living my life, everything felt pretty normal. My Former husband and I had some communication issues, but I was not looking for "self-help" answers. When I started reading the book, with no expectations, I finally discovered how emotionally repressed I was. I had been holding emotions in subconsciously for years, just so I could move forward through my daily life in a "normal" way. I actually had not cried in two years before reading the book. Funny, that is seen as normal, keep those emotions in check, right?! Stay strong, focus on the kids, with work and all of our commitments, no time to be sad, this is just not acceptable and for many a sign of weakness. I never thought I was repressed, I could TALK about everything! I was very open and communicative and my former husband was the one that was hiding things and not being open. Well, that is what I thought at the time. Talking about and understanding things intellectually and then actually FEELING emotions are very different!
This book really jump started my path to my true self discovery. When I did actually let go of some of this old baggage, I changed so dramatically that it completely freaked my husband out, he did not want me to change and was terrified at the thought of "having" to also feel his own emotions. I thought for sure, if he could move through his stuff too, if he could see that we were playing out patterns, that we would be sure to improve our non-exsistant communication level. How could we communicate authentically when we were both afraid of conflict, rejection and feeling our emotions? What I did not realize at the time was that this was my journey and MY energy that was shifting, not his. I was actually pushing him farther away by asking him to look at his stuff, because he was not ready, it was not his time to make the shift. Ultimately we went our separate ways, which happened exactly as it should have.
One year before my own marriage separation, I read Radical Forgiveness. The book practically jumped off the shelf and into my hands. At the time, I did not think I was looking for any answers, just living my life, everything felt pretty normal. My Former husband and I had some communication issues, but I was not looking for "self-help" answers. When I started reading the book, with no expectations, I finally discovered how emotionally repressed I was. I had been holding emotions in subconsciously for years, just so I could move forward through my daily life in a "normal" way. I actually had not cried in two years before reading the book. Funny, that is seen as normal, keep those emotions in check, right?! Stay strong, focus on the kids, with work and all of our commitments, no time to be sad, this is just not acceptable and for many a sign of weakness. I never thought I was repressed, I could TALK about everything! I was very open and communicative and my former husband was the one that was hiding things and not being open. Well, that is what I thought at the time. Talking about and understanding things intellectually and then actually FEELING emotions are very different!
This book really jump started my path to my true self discovery. When I did actually let go of some of this old baggage, I changed so dramatically that it completely freaked my husband out, he did not want me to change and was terrified at the thought of "having" to also feel his own emotions. I thought for sure, if he could move through his stuff too, if he could see that we were playing out patterns, that we would be sure to improve our non-exsistant communication level. How could we communicate authentically when we were both afraid of conflict, rejection and feeling our emotions? What I did not realize at the time was that this was my journey and MY energy that was shifting, not his. I was actually pushing him farther away by asking him to look at his stuff, because he was not ready, it was not his time to make the shift. Ultimately we went our separate ways, which happened exactly as it should have.
My divorce process was extremely emotional and like Jen, all I wanted was NO CONFLICT. I put on my rose colored glasses and honestly thought at that time that we would be able move through the process with "ease and grace" because in my mind, I had already moved through the emotions and had forgiven. What I did not know at the time (without seeing the bigger picture) is that all the emotions, fear and hurt that were yet to come, were absolutely essential and necessary for my growth. I had NOT yet moved through those emotions completely! There were emotions and stories I had held subconsciously for years and they all needed to come to the surface to be healed once and for all, so that I could connect to my true authentic being and start living consciously. Not only that, the process and timing were played out exactly as they should be for the healing of ALL involved. My former husband was going through his own emotional processing. The length of time of the divorce process served both of us, so we could each go through what we needed to, in our own timing, so we both could forgive and move forward.
We now have a respectful relationship and can focus on our most important jobs, being great parents for our son. I am forever grateful for the role my former husband played in my awakening, what a loving thing for him to do and I know that he was able to also heal some of his old emotional baggage and repression as well, that was not allowing him to fully express himself. This is what we do, especially in close relationships with people, we mirror and project all that needs to be healed and we attract people with the same core negative beliefs! We mirror to each other exactly what we believe about ourselves, wow what an important and meaningful job. Colin calls these people our healing angels. Our kids definitely play this role as well, they are our best teachers! Do your kids ever "push your buttons"?
We now have a respectful relationship and can focus on our most important jobs, being great parents for our son. I am forever grateful for the role my former husband played in my awakening, what a loving thing for him to do and I know that he was able to also heal some of his old emotional baggage and repression as well, that was not allowing him to fully express himself. This is what we do, especially in close relationships with people, we mirror and project all that needs to be healed and we attract people with the same core negative beliefs! We mirror to each other exactly what we believe about ourselves, wow what an important and meaningful job. Colin calls these people our healing angels. Our kids definitely play this role as well, they are our best teachers! Do your kids ever "push your buttons"?
Okay, back to Jen's story, now that you have my back story and understand the connection between Jen and I. At dinner the other night, Jen shared with us that she just completed her divorce paperwork "with ease and grace" after over two years of fear about perceived scenarios that may play out!
Participating in the project helped Jen to move forward in a place of self-empowerment. First she chose to delay her trip to Costa Rica (she said she felt that she was "running away" from dealing with the divorce and her feelings). She then had a lawyer write up her divorce paperwork and immediately after, the paperwork was signed, with no issues. Jen lost attachment to her fear about all of the possible scenarios that may happen. Her former husband signed the first draft of the paperwork and they did it lovingly with remembrance of times shared (they actually signed on what would have been their wedding anniversary!). Talk about self- empowerment and forgiveness work in action! Once Jen had given up her role of victim, her former husband no longer needed to play the role of perpetrator.
Jen did her forgiveness work and through this process she just knew on a deep level that LOVE is behind all things. Jen had full TRUST in the universe to provide the best outcome for all involved, in the bigger picture that we cannot see. NONE of her perceived fears came to fruition. Jen and her son are going to Costa Rica in November and she can now go in a new energy of celebration and peace! And I am going to visit, woop, woop (a Jen term)!
One other fun development from Jen as things have unfolded for her since participating in the project is her new-found acceptance of creating art! During the project, Jen discovered that she had a deeply ingrained belief that she was not good at art (as so many people do!) and it actually felt painful for her to color her first art therapy exercise in the project. As she moved through the process and started to embrace the true version of herself, beyond her stories, she started to embrace her creative side. She really enjoyed creating her backdrop art and recently sent me a text letting me know that she is now drawing without any resistance or self judgement!
Participating in the project helped Jen to move forward in a place of self-empowerment. First she chose to delay her trip to Costa Rica (she said she felt that she was "running away" from dealing with the divorce and her feelings). She then had a lawyer write up her divorce paperwork and immediately after, the paperwork was signed, with no issues. Jen lost attachment to her fear about all of the possible scenarios that may happen. Her former husband signed the first draft of the paperwork and they did it lovingly with remembrance of times shared (they actually signed on what would have been their wedding anniversary!). Talk about self- empowerment and forgiveness work in action! Once Jen had given up her role of victim, her former husband no longer needed to play the role of perpetrator.
Jen did her forgiveness work and through this process she just knew on a deep level that LOVE is behind all things. Jen had full TRUST in the universe to provide the best outcome for all involved, in the bigger picture that we cannot see. NONE of her perceived fears came to fruition. Jen and her son are going to Costa Rica in November and she can now go in a new energy of celebration and peace! And I am going to visit, woop, woop (a Jen term)!
One other fun development from Jen as things have unfolded for her since participating in the project is her new-found acceptance of creating art! During the project, Jen discovered that she had a deeply ingrained belief that she was not good at art (as so many people do!) and it actually felt painful for her to color her first art therapy exercise in the project. As she moved through the process and started to embrace the true version of herself, beyond her stories, she started to embrace her creative side. She really enjoyed creating her backdrop art and recently sent me a text letting me know that she is now drawing without any resistance or self judgement!
This to me is a prime example of what can happen in your life if you choose to let go of the OLD and bring in the amazing NEW. To CHOOSE to live life to the fullest with trust and through love, not fear. What we perceive MAY happen if we let go, is far more energy consuming and scary than the reality of what will actually happen if we choose to move forward past our old stuff! Thank you Jen for sharing your story, it inspired me to be brave enough to share mine. And this is why this work is so powerful, it expands the circle, connects us all, allows and inspires us to heal, opens us up to experiencing life fully. I want to express the gratitude I have for all of the miracles and gifts that have been bestowed upon me once I let this work into my life, the people that have showed up on my path, the love and peace I feel.
LOVE and LIGHT!
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