Wednesday, July 1, 2015

iamallthatis project Update- Summer 2015

Thanks for your patience with project updates and I'm sure many of you are wondering what's up with the project travels (and website!).....

First of all, the iamallthatis project website "mysteriously" disappeared two days ago and the web company has no back up on the server...its gone! Perhaps I am being given an opportunity to re-brand the project and a new website (yes!). As the project itself has been majorly shifting and transforming, just as I have...of course it has... both my inner work and what I am sharing with others through the project is so intimately intertwined. As I become more clear, the vision and practice for the project becomes more clear and authentic as well.

I will explain more in depth about this clarity in vision for the project later....stay tuned for the new video and website coming soon! AND project travels will be announced and posted soon as plans continue to unfold...all exciting new changes and hey, they may change again...I'm unattached to however things unfold as I believe every change is for the highest and best...

I myself, have also mysteriously "disappeared" for a few months now, as I have been given so many opportunities to do more of my inner work and get more clear on my long term vision for the project. What is also very clear to me is that as I am growing, learning and changing on the fast track, the project too is transitioning right along with me in a major way. These last few months I have been working on letting go of ALL lingering stories and fears that no longer serve me and may be hindering or blocking my movement forward in any way....

And its been POWERFUL.....I've been fine tuning myself and the project into something quite magical and wonderous (is that even a word? Feels right, Magnificent perhaps!).

This process has been centered around LETTING GO of any and all ATTACHMENTS whatsoever!

Letting go of any attachment that my life SHOULD or should NOT be a certain way, or go in a certain direction (especially according to MY timeline and plan). Letting go of control, letting go of WHY things are a certain way, or why I am experiencing certain things... as all of these ways of thinking are put in place by FEAR. Behind these thoughts is a lack of TRUST... not believing that there is a plan for our lives and all is going according to plan. Trying to control and avoid perceived "negative" life experiences or thoughts that we need to control our life is just a mask for fear, a lack of faith and connection to the divine. But why would't it be that way, its all we have ever been taught, we are taught to live in fear and believe we are alone. We honestly don't know any different, UNTIL we CHOOSE to start questioning everything we have ever learned.

MOST importantly, I have been letting go of everything that is NOT ME authentically, which involves re-claiming ALL of the gifts and parts of me that were lost, disowned, denied and repressed over the years. AND believe it or not, everyone does this and has no idea what they have lost...but something inside feels incomplete. We give up parts of ourselves to fit in, be loved and accepted, usually at a very young age. We are taught what we should do and how we should live to be happy and accepted. Only problem is only YOU know why you are here, not someone else and when you don't live in alignment with your purpose, you will never feel truly satisfied or happy. We are taught from a place of fear and lack, our society is full of it, everywhere you turn, just watch the news, it governs our lives (literally!). Any pain we have ever felt in our life...can be linked back to an attachment or expectation involving a  SHOULD...see if that rings true for you?...

Re-claiming and Re-connecting with these lost parts of myself, has brought so much peace and understanding...its almost like I don't have a need to ask or know why just supports me and I am truly understanding what being in the FLOW of life truly means. I understand what my purpose is, why I am here and what I have come to do....

I CHOOSE this transformation, I choose the awareness, I choose to take the responsibility for my life and change the things I don't want to keep attracting like a broken record, I choose to live life from and awake and aware perspective, I choose a true, authentic and fulfilling life... I refuse to live from a lack and fear based perspective. It's so much deeper than a "positive" perspective, covering shit with sugar...sorry to be so blunt, but lets be honest! I CHOOSE to live honestly, I choose to be free, I choose to say a clear no and a clear yes, I choose to surround myself with people who don't want to just talk about the weather and distract themselves from any conversation or looking within for that which is deep and REAL. I choose to walk the walk and not just talk the talk...This is LIFE, live it to the fullest or go home (again a little dramatic there, but seriously, can you feel my passion here?!) :). And its YOUR choice, most people don't know this lifestyle exists, because we only know and can relate to what we have experienced in the past and can't even fathom that we could live this kind of life, that it is possible to live any other way...

This project is transforming into a POWERFUL experience to show others what is possible... that they can live this way too, everyday and re-claim their gifts, their birthright and all of a sudden as they go through the process...everything starts to FLOW. Its not even explainable in words and sounds like BS to those who have not experienced it I'm sure, hell, they don't even know they want it, life has been the same for so long, it feels normal and safe. Why want for MORE? Because you have no idea what you are missing, that's why!

Know what else is POWERFUL, amazing and even a little scary?! We can also CHOOSE to feel our fears and move forward anyway, into the unknown, the ultimate test of FAITH and TRUST.

TRUSTING This rebirth process, like a snake shedding its old skin...which is not always comfortable and pretty scratchy actually, but its natural and we can fight it, thinking things SHOULD be different, or we can choose to live in FLOW... Accepting this amazing human experience, ALL of it, AS IT IS, and FEELING it all, every beautiful experience... THIS is life...fight or get to CHOOSE.

Yay Life! Be back in touch soon, promise with a more concrete travel "plan" as all unfolds!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The iamallthatis fundraiser event- project update and photos!

Where to start....first off, let me express my gratitude for all those that attended the iamallthatis project fundraiser event at The Proximity Hotel on April 17th!

The event itself was amazing and there are many people to thank for their help and support, including family, project participants, friends and local artists and businesses for sharing their time, energy and gifts! I want to recognize those that donated and honor them for giving from the heart and supporting a project that will open the door to transformation and happiness for so many people (donors names below, as well as some photos from the event- including the airstream styled, vintage RV photo booth!). 

We managed to fill the room with all the wonderful people who were able to take time out of their busy schedules to come out and support this event,

While we had a promising turnout, unfortunately, we did fall short of the initial fundraising goal. Many people told me after the event that they wanted to attend, but couldn’t make it for some reason or another.

So, even though we didn’t meet the financial goal for being able to take the project on the road this summer… I’m not giving up! 

We will see what unfolds and I know that when one door closes another opens. With this event in particular, so many lessons have come forth, so many old stories to be released that have blocked me from receiving in the past. Life is all about learning and growing and I know all of this is allowing me to learn how to receive abundance in so many forms. And to share my growth, challenges and struggles publicly, wow, talk about opening the heart and learning how vulnerability helps others to feel brave and comfortable enough to open this door for themselves. And I want to offer that support to others! This summer, I plan to blog every day. Many have said they plan to live and travel vicariously through me, as they read the blog. I will feel your support as well as you go along this journey with me! To be honest, it has been challenging to step out of my comfort zone and learn how to take this leap, guided by faith and my inner knowing that this is my path...

Many people who could not attend, asked me if they could still donate, which I am so grateful for!

Therefore, many have encouraged me to take the next step towards funding the project travels, by starting a "Go Fund Me" crowdfunding project to secure donations. I will be posting that link and information as soon as it is set up. Financial support is needed, in order to bring this project to people all across the country. I have no doubt in my mind that this nationally based project is starting right here in Greensboro, do you feel it, can you see the vision? I have the willpower and strength to get this message out there and I thank every person who believes in me and co-creates this vision into reality with their support. 

One main highlight of the event, was that some of the project participants came forward to share and speak about their experiences.
These women shared some truly inspiring stories of transformation, sparked by their participation in the project. Many tears, laughs and smiles were shared by those who attended the event and were lucky enough to witness these inspiring women.

It's all of the emails and thank you's that I receive that keep me going and continuing to step out of my comfort zone and moving forward. Their positive energy encourages me to follow my passion, bliss, and purpose, as we all influence each other, learn, grow and share!

Dennis and Nancy Quaintance are co-owners of The Proximity Hotel, the O.Henry Hotel and Lucky 32, and are both amazing people! Their work with the community and with starting the first Green hotel in the area is very inspirational to me and many others I am sure. Since I wanted this to be a community based, interactive event, I invited Nancy Quaintance to come and share her story and she was a  surprise addition for all the lucky attendees!

The message that Nancy shared, was about perseverance and how she has always stayed true to what she loves. Through following her inner voice and following her passion (even when others tried to influence her in other directions, based on what they thought would make her happy) she has been able to create success and happiness in her life in so many ways. I am so very grateful that she came and shared her story with us!

Stay tuned to future updates, as we launch the “Go Fund Me” campaign, and I continue to share the project. On Saturday, May 23th, I will be doing an iamallthat is workshop at the new Spiritual Learning Institute, in Atlantic Beach, N.C. This is also the new home of the Crystal Coast Unity Church! There is no religious affiliation, so it does not matter what religion you resonate with, if any, to participate in the project! If you’d like to participate or know someone who should attend, this will be a fun and transformational weekend getaway in a beautiful location! Contact me at for more details and with any other questions. 

THANK YOU to all the local artists and businesses that donated to the project event! 

Local businesses that donated raffle items:
-Oscar Oglethorpe Optometry, Tanger Outlets, The Lotus Center, Free Spirits Yoga, School-kid Chronicles, Kandice Russell hairstyling, Triad Stage, Chakras Spa, Deep Roots Market, Just Be, Alegria Shoes, Zoe's kitchen, Melanie Jones Massage therapist, The Greensboro Children's museum, Loaf Bakery, Hops burger bar, Stick's & Stones Clay oven pizza, Fishbone's restaurant, Mellow Mushroom, Crafted The art of the taco, Grey's Tavern, & Maxie B's bakery. 

Local Artists that donated to the silent art auction:
- Suzanne and Edgar Cabrera- An Open Sketchbook, Ninoshka Boylston- N Design, James Williams- Mixed Media, Kate Sanders- by Hand by Kate, Rachel Ault- Pretty Blue Bird, Jenny Maj- Fluffmonger, Chloe Nickles- Jewelry Metalsmith, Erin Johnson- Photographer, Tricia Cooke- Mixed Media, Madeline Beltran- Mixed Media, Christine Brown- Moonbird Pottery, Jennifer Jennette- Surya Leela Designs, Sara Brennan Harrell- Whitebox Photography, Kat Jackson- Heart & Craft Creative, Rhiannon McGee- Little Orange Shop, Katie Hamister- Ginkgo Albums, Sandra Cates- Painter, Nicole Villano- Jewelry & Mixed Media, Colleen Ewen- Jewelry and Mixed Media, Martha Vaughn- Painter and Photographer, Margot Robinson- Sculptor, Beth Tilley Green- Photographer, Jessica Purvis- Photographer, Karen Condon- Mixed Media, Jonna Holston- Jewelry and Mixed Media, Tristin Miller- Mixed Media, Karen Sniquer- Mixed Media, Randall Grace- Mixed Media.

Also a special thanks to:
-The Proximity Hotel for their excellent service and help with hosting the event. Annelise Delcambre and John Trotta for their amazing musical performance. Julie Watson from Simply Scrumptious bakery for the delicious iamallthatis airstream cake and for her famous chocolate truffles. Nancy Quaintance, Nicole Villano, Beth Tilley Green and Martha Vaughn for their inspirational stories shared at the event. Jen Daniels, for trying so hard to send a video message from Costa Rica for the event- your love and support were felt across the miles! Tristin Miller and Rhiannon McGee thanks for your time, energy and excellent taste, in helping me to find the amazing artists who donated to the art auction. Sue Sassman who shared with me some of her event planning goddess guidance, time and energy. Ninoshka Boylston for letting us borrow large easels to display all of the artwork. Bart and Wendy Weeks for putting together the slideshow for the event and for taking a the blog post images below. Lydia Monteiro our "photo booth" photographer (a few selected below and many more to come!). Pauli Frances for donating a lovely bracelet and Bel Canto tickets as raffle prizes and also helped with the event set up. Jeannine Delcambre, Melanie Jones, Martha Vaughn, Sue Sassman and Nicole Villano, thank you all for helping to set up the event as well, could not have done it without you! Thank you to Shari Claire, Colin and JoAnn Tipping for their help, love and support and for the use of the Radical Forgiveness process and tools within the project itself! Thanks to the CVA for the use their studio space this past year for the project, to create our large pieces of backdrop art. Of course, thank you to my family and friends who have shown so much support and to all the project participants thus far-looking forward to expanding the circle this summer, sharing with more people! 

Thursday, April 9, 2015

iamallthatis project fundraiser event!

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT... its about time right?! Phase 2 of the iamallthatis project begins! 

This past year, Shari Claire and I have shared the project experience with 30 individuals in the N.C. area. The plan for phase 2 of the project, is for my six year old boy and I to travel across the U.S this summer in a "LOVE BUS" RV (vehicle yet to be determined, hopefully an airstream :). We will be traveling, in order to share the project experience with more people in larger groups! My  goal is to share the project experience with 100+ people.  

Please help me to reach that goal and show your LOVE & support, by attending the iamallthatis project fundraiser event! I chose to do an interactive community oriented event locally, instead of doing online crowd funding, to help support and bring awareness to other local artists and locally owned businesses.

The proceeds for the event will help us to make phase 2 of the project travels a reality! We will need lots of art supplies and travels are of course very expensive in an RV.....

The iamallthatis project fundraiser event:

When: Friday evening, April 17th, 2015,  from 5:30-8:30 p.m.
Where: The Proximity Hotel, Weaver Room, Greensboro, N.C. 

Cost: $20 entrance fee, this fee also enters you into the raffle drawing with lots of great prizes from local shops and restaurants and all proceeds go to benefit the project! 
* Children get in for free, or you can make it a date night instead, either way, children are welcome, so don't let not having a babysitter deter you from coming! The best way to show your support is to attend and invite friends!

** Awesome raffle prizes from local shops & restaurants, including gift baskets, a $250 Tanger outlet gift card, local hotel overnight get-aways, wellness items like a massage and hairstyling! 

** Silent ART Auction featuring local artists! Many of the artists will also be at the auction to meet in person, as well as many of the project participants. Some of the participants are also artists and have donated some of their own creations to the auction! 

*** FIRST EDITION photographs from the project! Only ONE of each of the images will be auctioned off in the silent art auction. They will be marked as first Edition and signed by Klein. A very limited number of these prints will be sold after the project is complete on a gallery tour. 

** Fun vintage 1950's RV "photo booth" set up! Ladies put on your apron and fellas fire up the grill....

** Food and drinks provided by The Proximity, so you know it will be delish! 

** A beautiful RV inspired cake, made and donated by Julie Watson at Simply Scrumptious, so yum! 

** Live Jazz music with a vintage flair by the talented duo, Annelise Delcambre and John Trotta!  

Please copy the link to this post and email to friends or post on your facebook page! I really appreciate your support and look forward to seeing you at the event! Flyer is below.....

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Atlanta Workshop April 24-26th!

Please join Colin Tipping, Shari Claire and myself for The Power of Radical Forgiveness weekend workshop in Atlanta April 24-26th! This is the work that changed my life so dramatically, that I developed the project in order to share it with as many people as possible. Special pricing has been extended to allow for more people to attend, sign up for $222 and this includes three facilitators and an entire weekend of goodness! Colin is adding an additional special BONUS and will be announcing this in our upcoming webinar! 

Colin Tipping, world renowned author of the Radical Forgiveness work will be giving a free pre-workshop talk Thursday night the 23rd. He will also be including another BIG bonus surprise as well (secret to be divulged in the webinar!). 

From my own experience, any opportunity to be in Colin's presence and learn from him is a life changing experience in itself. Iv'e attended several of his workshops and have had the honor of photographing he and his lovely wife Jo Ann as well. Jo Ann also played an active role in the workshops that I attended and is a gentle and kind spirit who is also an artist. My very first Radical Forgiveness workshop was facilitated by Shari Claire years ago. Many of you know that I have had the honor of having Shari to help me to facilitate the project here in N.C. Shari plays an integral part in expanding the opportunities for more people to be able to experience this work world wide. She is a master coach and is just amazing at what she does! 

I am so honored that these open hearted and  genuine people have played a part in my journey. Now I have the opportunity to work along side them and add art creation and photography to the workshop experience! The Art we will be creating together as a group, integrates all of the changes that happen during the workshop into your mind body and spirit. Before and After photos are taken of each participant to document these changes and you can actually see the difference. People look younger, more relaxed and free. Its a great reminder for the participants that change is possible and the power to do so is within you, plus a fun memoir of your experience! 

Let us share these life changing tools with you in a fun and supportive environment!  Gift yourself the opportunity and your life will never be the same...

Email me for more details,

Monday, February 2, 2015

Letting go...things have weight.

Many of you know that I just moved out of my home recently. The home where my son, Elias was born and my marriage started and ended.

What I did not realize, until I started packing was just how much of my energy was tied up in that house! My intention with the move was letting go of the old and welcoming in the new. Many insights came to me throughout the moving process. My main realization was just how much WEIGHT material things hold, energetically as well as physically. So many Memories are attached to things and we are terrified of change, letting them go. Hopes, dreams and many expectations are also tied into material things, especially houses. This is where we start our family, create our memories and we expect houses to be our safe haven. I see how we start to identify ourselves with our things.

So I have found that the physical process of letting go of my things is so very powerful, way more powerful energetically than I ever could have imagined. I literally sold and gave away almost everything I own. Goes to show, you really cannot have a deep knowing and understanding of something until you actually experience it. I cried, I laughed (reading out journal entries before I let them go) I felt every emotion humanly possible. Memories flowed through my mind, Elias taking his first steps, running down the hallway....

It's amazing how giving things away is both freeing (letting go) and terrifying! Especially since my next step is a step into the unknown, a leap of faith for the most part. I know that I want to be of service by sharing this process with others on a larger scale as I continue to learn, grow and open my heart in the process. I also have a "plan" as well to make this physically possible and will be sharing that information soon as it continues to unfold.

Now that I have embraced my gifts and understand what I am here to do, I know that all else will fall into place. These past three years have mainly been about learning to TRUST my inner voice and the messages from spirit (God, universal energy, however each person identifies this greater power, which I ultimately believe is not separate from us).

Trusting means letting go of control, of attachment, of fear and learning to go with the flow. Most of my friends already thought that I was a free spirit before opening up to this process. Hell, I thought I was too, we are so conditioned that we fool ourselves as well! It just goes to show that what others see on the outside, is not an accurate refection of what each person is experiencing within. Everything we see with others is so surface, people are taught to wear a mask, wanting to give of the perception that they are happy and in control of their lives. How backwards we are in what we have been taught, that vulnerability and true openness is a sign of weakness. If only we could truly open ourselves up to others, we could support each other in growing, healing and feeling at one with each others experiences. That is true self empowerment. As we let go and open up, we make room for the new, for love without judgement. We would really see how alike we all are in our human experiences and not try to be something we are not, striving for this illusory model of perfection, judging and condemning ourselves and others. 

I feel sure of myself and of the direction that my life is taking, more now than I ever could have imagined before. How is that possible when things are changing so rapidly, shaky, my world as I knew it is breaking apart before my eyes? However I can honestly say, that I feel more safe, less nervous and more trusting than I ever have in my life. I am not alone and my life I KNOW this on a deep level, a knowing that comes not from sheer faith but from experiencing the miracles that can happen as I continue to embrace the process of letting go. 

I am so excited to continue to share my process with others, so they too can let go of the fear and trust, in order to awaken to their own gifts. The gift of looking within and breaking free from the self created security cocoon is essential to releasing the blockages that keep us from moving forward. I am not saying you have to give up all your material things! That is just one of the freeing things I chose to do when going through this process (I have also been processing for a few years now). Suddenly change does not seem so scary anymore once we break free and start our transformation to butterfly ;).

I am in a complete state of flux right now, an in between moment. Letting go of the past, embracing the now and excited about the future. I feel every emotion humanly possible and I trust that all is unfolding perfectly.

Thank you to all who continue to support me in this process, as I give my all to support others in doing the same.

Friday, December 5, 2014

How my mom's recent heart attack showed me something very valuable about myself and my family.

....feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we are holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we would rather collapse and back away. They're like messengers that show us with terrifying clarity, exactly where we are stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and lucky for us, it's with us wherever we are. -Pema Chodron

This morning I woke up thinking about the recent situation I just went though and what was shown to me, with terrifying clarity. My mom had a heart attack the evening of the 26th, the day before Thanksgiving.

Old pains in my chest started to flair up and I felt like I was having a heart attack myself. Now, I am empathetic to other's pain, but I knew this particular pain very well. This spot behind my left shoulder blade, that reverberates around to the front of my body and tightening of the diaphragm is where I store all my old pain and hurts. These back (heart) pains, at one time in my life, I felt every day. But since I started doing my inner work, I only rarely feel them anymore. At this point, the pain only shows up when I am thinking a fear based thought. A teacher in the present moment, to notice my thoughts and where the pain is stored in my body.

Since actively starting my inner work five years ago now, living from this aware perspective, receiving the messages from a deeper connection with spirit that guides me, life has been a roller coaster of growth. See, it does not happen overnight, it is a lifelong journey, a peeling of the onion layers. Based on my inner truth, I now believe this is why we are here, to experience true acceptance, learning to open our heart and love ourselves and others completely, unconditionally. Ultimately this leads to a feeling of oneness, as I am starting to really feel and understand through this project experience.

Usually we are not ready to wake up, until we are "forced" to, when masking the feelings and emotions becomes unmanageable. We have an experience, cancer, heart attack, divorce, hitting rock bottom with addiction, something happens to kick us in the butt and say, you ready to see yet? We usually see these wake up call experiences as bad, a punishment. But when ready, we can see the experiences for what they really are, a gift. An opportunity to start loving and caring for ourselves. We decide it is safe enough to start to change the old patterns that keep replaying. As we start to do this, our trust and connection grows because we experience the changes first hand and we learn that life is safe. Ego thinks it is protecting us, keeping everything the same, keeping the walls up and the heart closed. What a farce, because staying asleep is the only thing that is not safe and causes harm to ourselves, others and our bodies.

Each person must have their own experience to become a believer. They need their own evidence in order to trust enough to start letting down the walls that have been built up through the years, to feel safe enough to bypass the egos fear of change. It takes time to lower the walls enough to open up, to be willing to trust and to deepen a connection with spirit (many have closed this door completely, usually those that have the deepest hurts and feel abandoned, shamed or guilted by their church experiences, those who feel they are being punished and they also feel very alone and much fear, as they believe that they are being tossed in the seas of life, that have no rhyme or reason).

My wake up call experience was the year that lead up to my divorce and then the divorce process itself. I found the book Radical Forgiveness and this started my active awakening. I had dabbled in the past, read The Celestine Prophecy and other such books, priming me for what was to soon come, when and only when, I was ready. Because the Radical Forgiveness work was to play a key role in my life's mission and work, I had a profound first experience with it. Spirit knew, I needed a miracle in order to be a believer and to feel safe enough jumping on the "inner work" boat! In fact, as I have gotten off topic as to what the story is about, what I have learned from my mom's recent heart attack....I really see now just how "in the head" me and my family tend to be. We are heady, intellectualizing and trying to understand (a safety mechanism) and in the process have become so disassociated with our HEARTS and feelings.

Back to the first experience that made me a believer, I forgave my mom, almost instantaneously. I read Radical Forgiveness with no expectations (I just picked it up to read because the cover was pink and red, another story, but seriously! Thought, this looks kind of interesting, that's it). Read the book and filled out ONE worksheet, which is the tool used to do the work. What happened after filling out this ONE meaningless piece of paper, with no expectations whatsoever, was nothing short of a Miracle and honestly would be another long blog post all together. The most important information, details of the story itself excluded... was that somehow, I healed not only my very broken relationship with my mom, but something changed in my entire family line. This was made evident to me less than five minutes after completing my first worksheet. My ENTIRE life changed that day and I was on my mission!!

No better way to re-affirm this forgiveness that took place with my mom more than five years ago, than last week, when my mom had a heart attack. My heart ached, I became aware of all the old feelings still trapped in my chest. I can tell you every pattern that has ever existed in my life, every aspect of my shadow, I have read and studied and can teach it to others. Intellectually, I have so much figured out. But what became terrifyingly clear to me, was that I realized my story, a belief that feeling the feelings and opening up the pandora's box of deep emotion is too scary and even dangerous. I think most people have this story and it is what keeps us stuck, holds us back or stops us in our tracks on the inner journey of growth. We let down the walls just enough to feel SOME things and then we intellectualize the others. This FEAR is so debilitating in our subconscious, that we would rather close down and block our hearts from opening completely. However, the truth is, this story we create is far more scary than actually feeling the emotions, acknowledging them and letting them move on through and out. Instead, we create sickness, heart attacks, cancer, by bottling up all of our feelings, our bodies begin to attack ourselves, when we can no longer hold in and down all these blocked emotions.

It's interesting, throughout my mom and dad's lives, they have opened the door and let down the walls a bit, but then something would happen, a "bad" experience and trust would waiver, walls would go back up. Ever since I started really "going for it" with my inner work, so much has opened up with my family. My brother, sister, mom and dad are all slowly letting down their walls too and starting to feel more. The health scares with my mom and earlier this year with my dad (who had a stroke) have really been a wake up call for us all.

Time for me to question my story, that it is scary or dangerous to actually feel this old stuff, the deep stuff that is more well hidden, the family lineage passed down through generations, the stuff that resides in my chest. In fact, I actually went to get my yearly physical a few days ago (great timing right, after feeling a great deal of stress!). I wanted to make sure my heart was okay for a more strenuous yoga program I want to start. An EKG was done and came back abnormal. The doctor was not worried, as "he has seen this many times, machines can be set to the wrong parameters and so forth". However, of course, I was worried and now have to wait until after the Holidays to get in to see a cardiologist.

As I sat with my feelings and finally did cry (after putting on my strong front for dealing with a parent whom just has a heart attack). I realized just how repressed I still am to feeling the feelings and just letting them wash through me. Its so deeply ingrained, the protection mechanisms we use to BLOCK ourselves from feeling. We do it unconsciously for the most part, we change the subject, eat, drink, exercise, facebook or phone surf, we are very good at staying busy and distracting ourselves. We will do almost anything to not feel a so called "negative" feeling. We actually tell ourselves we don't have TIME to feel right now. This is why it is so important to live consciously, from an awake and aware perspective. In order to consciously try not to stuff emotions back down, to stop the distraction pattern. To find some time to be alone if needed and feel those feelings. Because what you resist, will persist.

I can now see, after reflection, that this experience happened to show me what old stories and patterns are below the surface to be questioned, reframed and healed. Another chance to love and accept myself and to CHOOSE to live differently. To help others to do the same, when they are ready. I am Thankful for this Thanksgiving day lesson and the insights that have followed. The great talks I have had with my family following these recent experiences, have deepened our bonds and enabled us to speak our truths. What a gift to heal old family line patterns, by bringing them to light, forgiving, understanding and accepting with love.

God, great spirit, universe, please give me the strength and bravery to continue to open my heart and feel, to share my vulnerability (which is power, not weakness as I once believed) and my story with others so that they can feel empowered to do the same. Please help me to question my old stories that no longer serve me and to trust and know that you are with me and it is safe to feel the old emotional baggage trapped within my body.

I feel a peace within that I never thought possible. I am at peace with me, I am learning to love and to accept all parts of myself, to be proud of my gifts and share them with others, allowing for all of our inner lights to shine.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

iamallthatis project Angels, Girl POWERrrrrrrrrr!

Last month Shari and I witnessed another amazing group of women step into their power! The epitome of  Girl POWERrrrrrrrrr, this group! We laughed, we cried, we felt all emotions human and we did this united in a safe and loving environment of kindred souls.

Once you start breaking away the old stories that keep you stuck in repetitive life patterns, it opens a door to a freedom and power that is un-explainable, until it is experienced first hand. 

It is about you (the I AM) being re-introduced to the REAL you. Removing the mask, the judgements & the walls that have blocked you from living authentically in the past. This process allows you to come into and connect with your full potential, to share your authentic gifts with the world. The love and acceptance that follows, changes not only your life, but all of those around you. 

Many of the women who have participated in the project are mothers. One life-changing gift that comes with this self-love and acceptance, is the ability to then give this same unconditional love and acceptance to others. What an example to set for our children, one of self love and care. How many people were shown that example as a child?  Let's face it, in many generations past (our parents and grandparents) especially for women, the role played was that of the martyr, right?! Do for others and put yourself last. Children then experienced a resentful type of "love", because an overwhelmed mom was not getting enough (time, love, energy) for herself. Things are changing, thank goodness and women are starting to live from an empowered place, stepping away from the victimized archetype. We can now show our children what real love looks like. When mom is connected, aware and getting the energy she needs, there is more than plenty of love to go around, the healthy, un-resentful kind. AND we are releasing old family patterns that our children and future generations no longer need to play out! 

I feel blessed and grateful every day for the opportunity to share this experience with these amazing women, who inspire me and remind me that I can do anything I set my mind and my HEART to. I am a single mother, self-funding this project and I know that if I had not done this work myself, which further opened my connection to spirit (God, Universe, whatever you want to call it!) this would never have been a possibility. There is a force much greater than me at work here and I have a gratitude beyond words.

***NEWS, the latest on the project!***

Shari Claire is on the mend (she recently had knee surgery). I visited her today and she is in good spirits and healing nicely! After the Holidays, when Shari has a pep back in her step, we will be offering our first iamallthatis  project intensive full weekend workshop in Atlanta! To add to the excitement, Colin has graciously offered to participate in the Atlanta workshop. Colin will be giving a free talk to show his support for the project! Shari and I will also be traveling to bring the project to the Asheville area early next year at the aSHEville museum. Who knows what other surprises and locations spirit has in store for us as the project unfolds further!

I have been working on getting certified as a Radical Forgiveness coach myself, so I can continue with this work even after the project is finalized.  Honestly, between running my photography business, full time motherhood and the project, I  have not had much extra time to really hit the books! So as Shari is on the mend, I will be taking a little hiatus myself, to play catch up, work on my coach training and enjoy Holiday time spent with my little boy and family.

Art-photography sessions with this most recent group of project participants will take place at the end of November, so stay tuned for photos in December on facebook and the blog! 

Early 2015, Asheville, possibly Raleigh and a documentary and Atlanta, much fun to come! 

Also planning for a fundraiser for the project, possibly in February to celebrate the LOVE! Any volunteers to help me plan the event would be greatly appreciated! I have been self-funding the project thus far (with help from spirit!) but art supplies & travel are expensive and my goal is to be able to bring the project experience to 100 participants!

Please email me if you are interested in volunteering to help with the fundraiser event,

Happy Holidays, love, light and girl powerrrrrr! I say girl (woman to be more PC), but this is human empowerment, because really we are all ONE! Different from the idea of gender equality and stepping away from the idea that dis-empowerment can be caused by another, we each (male and female) step into our personal power (the greatest power of all). Another blog post topic entirely!